Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Status report

A few thoughts on mommyville in our home:
I know I am an optimist when I feel God is calling me to homeschool to alleviate our discord. The fighting, the lack of respect, the frenzy, it's all too much. I have my daily prayers, things I pray for or about. I pray I overcome some of the hurdles that hinder my path to holiness and my human short-comings that drive others(and me) crazy. I see how hard my boys try to be normal and sometimes it wears me down. I know it does them. I hope in the next year I can love them on their level, where they are. I have felt the need to make them work in the world since I can change them easier than the world. Perhaps that was where the problem started. I often feel that we are "therapied out". It's no longer too much of a good thing, it's too much of a thing period. Are they getting the "you aren't good enough as just you so mommy is going to try and help change you"? I feel our time would be better spent on something to build their esteem and not "fix" their behavior. A sport, a hobby, a fun activity...even Mary would benefit.
I need to pray about all this therapy. They currently get art therapy, family therapy and will soon be getting Impact(though I'm not sure about this). It's overload. I need the therapy(haha). I need to slow this life down and pray that God allows me to be mommy first and foremost to these kids that need me(badly). I'm tired of the business thing. It's a struggle and something has to change with it, in general. I'm sure the homeschool environment will lend itself to me cutting back and better utilizing my time.

I have to admit I was inspired by Carrie Prejean speaking out to the press today. If you believe something and it comes from your heart, don't back down. It choked me up and had me internalizing things I feel. Conviction is a powerful thing.


Laura The Crazy Mama said...

It's so sweet to finally see pics of your family! Your boys are adorable. I will pray for your new adventure. You are right, your family needs you. I hope you can balance it all with grace. It's a tough road, but a very rewarding one...MOST days!

Anonymous said...

God bless you!